I'm here. In New York. Finally.
Well, I've been here for some time.
I don't know if there is anywhere else where I feel so alive and free. It's really, technically, no different from any other large city. Overwhelming, enveloping, pulsating, alive - and entirely man made.
I think that's what is most magnificent - appealing to the gut egomaniac in me - that men and women - just like you and me - through the centuries (only 3 centuries) created this island city. It's a place that is so integrally human - where the human story seems to be the only story. What we can do with our minds, our hearts, our wills - the spectrum of what is possible, in one city. (I know this isn't true. But somehow, this place evokes such grandiose thoughts). And somehow, though every tower of possibility, is guarded jealously by an innocuously well dressed receptionist - there is an illusion of dreams within reach.
I know this is all part of the hook, the thing that draws you in and leaves you, at some point - wondering what happened. How your pursuit of happiness got drowned in the humdrum and petty. And though that happens everywhere, in this city, that betrayal is magnified by the majesty of the towers that surround you - the suits - the constant motion. While your life, maybe, just stands still. People don't change because of a city - but here, everything feels sharper, leaner, meaner. Coming down to the bottom line - what is your value - what can you contribute, barter that will let you into the mad rush forward - or to a reservation at a more exclusive restaurant and an apartment with more breathing space. A man can easily live out the commands of his ego in this one city. From the street to the penthouse in a half a lifetime. That vertical climb. Seemingly up into the heavens - but really, part of the beautiful, man-made illusion that is New York City. After all, we're all trying to be
E Pluribus Unum, no? Who says that magic isn't real? That men are not masters of mystery and illusion.
And yet, though there is obvious fallacy in this city - it is also so palpable and real. It breathes - all around you. And runs - in all it's beautiful ugliness. There's a subway system to transport those millions of dreamers from all over the world. A sewage system to carry their excrement to the sea - or wherever. Dark alleyways for bad things to happen. Rooftops for friendly gatherings. It's all laid out in front of you. And though, your experience at the end of the day, will be limited - just the fact that it's all there, in easy reach - but you can be as insulated as you want.....is enthralling. (And perhaps New Yorkers - with the taste of world's experience at their fingertips, are the most insulated of all humanity).
I know this is a rather ridiculous post - all larger than life, starry eyed and in love with something of dubious value and possibility. But it's a feeling of the moment. My current tangent :)
Which brings me to the picture at the top of the post.
I went to see Dark Knight with my sister today. And yes, we saw it in Queens - but seeing Manhattan getting blown to pieces like that, the bridges just falling away, the city being destroyed and then with a theater full of New Yorkers holding their breaths - in absolute silence - then climbing up to the 18th floor just to see Manhattan rising majestically, reassuring in the sunset - what a moment.
Moreover, looking toward the setting sun and the horizon, looking over Queens towards the real life Gotham City - the greatest tower rising above the city - none other than the new WTC. Rebuilding from real life destruction and evil.
I don't know what it is about this place. Perhaps I'm under the combined spell of Christopher Nolan and New York, but I'm infatuated. Deeply.
