,,,,,,,,

sometimes, waking up in the morning, there are so many things to do and no certain outcome. And the only thing that is definite is that as long as my eyes are shut, they don't exist.

it is terrifying to chase one's dream. not in a romantic, bohemian, wildly exciting, adrenaline rushing kind of a way (although occasionally, those moments do happen), but in a let-me-keep-my-eyes-as-tightly-shut-as-i-can-for-as-long-as-possible, kind of way. because eyes closed, the world stays as it is, but open them and who knows what you will see.

i don't think people realize the exacting effort that goes into performing well. it's not just the sitting down to work hard and learn new things, but the fact that to wake up every morning and go through the day with an easy smile and effortless laugh, genial comments and an interested mind, takes discipline! emotional discipline. you can't let things get you down. and that, while in effect produces an optimistic, go-getter of a being, sometimes you want nothing more than to let the ball drop wherever the hell it will. You don't want to keep on doing things to move forward.

if i were terribly cynical (i definitely have my moments) i'd say that every high performer, all those people with the crazy drive, is driving away from something incredibly sad that is threatening to engulf him. that at the base of it all is fear.

i don't think that is true.

i've been here, in the states for about 2 months now. Who would have thought that 8 years away would change me so much. Well, most people i guess. But i always make the assumption that the environment can't touch me. that nothing can.....

Bonanza

Today was the kind of day I dreamed of having back in good old Porur. Filled with new experiences, good food, subway rides, spring weather and awesome people.

I am way too tired to chronicle Week 1 in NYC - the place I've always wanted to live, but here are links to a few of the wonderful and bizarre things that I saw.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/05/ev-day-and-kembra-pfahler_n_1400783.html#s839348
http://www.newmuseum.org/exhibitions/448/the_ungovernables
http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/3/22242/restaurant/Upper-West-Side/Bettola-New-York
http://www.saravanabhavan.com/restaurants.php?cn=U.S.A&cy=New%20York&rid=62

Have so many things I want to say and write about. But these days, my body tires out a lot faster than my mind. I think it's all the walking. And the only thing I can manage to do right now is wonder....maybe it really is possible to be completely happy. I am where I have wanted to be for 13 years. Finally. How miraculous, to get what you have always wanted - even if it is temporary.

I shall sleep in hopes that I will come up with a Suketu Mehta -esque thing of beauty to post on my blog.

Maybe I should start being pretentious and by a moleskin notebook for subway epiphanies...

to Beauty in the breakdown

Well I never pray

But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah 

I need to hear sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah

I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I'm free now

But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

                                  - The Verve Bittersweet Symphony

SOPA Repeat? I think NOT

So today has been a pretty bad day. Got humbled by an exam, postponed merriment, got spat on, realized that I'm nowhere near as 'together' as I thought I was. Such revelations raise their head every so often.

EU anti-TPP/ACTA Protesters  - Source 

To top it of, the politicians' [when are they going to realize that they're elected representatives and not clowns?]  antics have really taken an interesting turn. From porn watching ministers of woman and child welfare in sessions of the Karnataka state assembly (they claim that they were trying to explain to each other, through a very graphic video, the meaning of gang rape - as a case of rave party turned gang rape had occurred) to the US lobbyists allegedly supporting 'trade agreements' that curtail internet freedoms just like SOPA, it's been a bad day for my faith in the political process.

Disclaimer: I support the protection of intellectual property, despite the fact that I secretly find stories of hackers and the things they can do, pretty enthralling [Julian Assange was a hacker] and the fact that I've been saved a lot of money and wasted a lot of time from things that are products of these online pirates. These should [officially] be curtailed. That being said, if any of the laws trying to curtail the above also impinge upon internet freedoms, I will do everything I can to make sure that they don't come into being.

From Fight for the Future, here is an excerpt of what is happening.  

Together, we beat SOPA in a huge victory for internet freedom.  But this Saturday, internet freedom protests are breaking out in over 200 cities across Europe.  Why? 

 Because the companies behind SOPA are using international trade agreements as a backdoor to pass SOPA-style laws

SOPA's supporters are pushing two agreements: ACTA and TPP¹.  ACTA would criminalize users, encourage internet providers to spy on you, and make it easier for media companies to sue sites out of existence and jail their founders.  Sound familiar?  That's right, ACTA is from the same playbook as SOPA, but global.  Plus it didn't even have to pass through Congress².
TPP goes even farther than ACTA, and the process has been even more secretive and corrupt.

 Last weekend (we wish this was a joke) trade negotiators partied with MPAA (pro-SOPA) lobbyists before secret negotiations in a Hollywood hotel, while public interest groups were barred from meeting in the same building.³

Trade agreements are a gaping loophole, a secretive backdoor track that--even though it creates new laws--is miles removed from democracy.  Trade negotiators are unelected and unaccountable, so these agreements have been very hard for internet rights groups to stop.
But now the tide is turning.  Fueled by the movement to stop SOPA, anti-ACTA protests are breaking out across the EU, which hasn't ratified ACTA.  The protests are having an impact: leaders in Poland, the Czech Republic, and Slovakia have backtracked on ACTA.⁴  Now a massive round of street protests in over 200 cities is planned for this Saturday February 11th.

We're planning an online protest this Saturday to support the protests in the streets.  Why?  Because together we can drive millions of emails to key decision makers--and start tipping the scales like we did on SOPA.

Can you take part?  Click here to get the code to run on your site!

We just built an ACTA & TPP contact tool, and it's not just a petition.   It's code for your site that figures out the visitor's country and lets them email all their Members of European Parliament--the politicians who will be voting on ACTA in June--or the trade negotiators behind TPP.  This direct contact between voters and their officials, driven by websites of all sizes, was instrumental in the fight against SOPA. 

We can use the same tactics to defeat ACTA & TPP, but we need your help!

Support the street protests with a flood of emails to the officials responsible for ACTA & TPP.  Get the code for your website!

Don't have a website?  Tell officials in your country to scrap ACTA & TPP!   And spread the word about Saturday's protests! 

This is going to be tough fight.  But we need to make secretive trade agreements harder to pass than US law.  If we don't, our internet's future belongs to the lobbyists behind SOPA.  
This is just the beginning,

--Holmes Wilson, Tiffiniy Cheng, Joshua Blount & the whole Fight for the Future team. 

Stop ACTA & TPP: Tell your country's officials: NEVER use secretive trade agreements to meddle with the Internet. Our freedoms depend on it!
AfghanistanAlbaniaAlgeriaAmerican SamoaAndorraAngolaAnguillaAntigua and BarbudaArgentinaArmeniaArubaAustraliaAustriaAzerbaijanBahamasBahrainBangladeshBarbadosBelarusBelgiumBelizeBeninBermudaBhutanBoliviaBosnia and HerzegovinaBotswanaBrazilBritish Virgin IslandsBritish Indian Ocean TerritoryBruneiBulgariaBurkina FasoBurundiCambodiaCameroonCanadaCape VerdeCayman IslandsCentral African RepublicChadChileChinaChristmas IslandColombiaComoros IslandsCongo, Democratic Republic of theCongo, Republic of theCook IslandsCosta RicaCote D'ivoireCroatiaCubaCyprusCzech RepublicDenmarkDjiboutiDominicaDominican RepublicEast TimorEcuadorEgyptEl SalvadorEquatorial GuineaEritreaEstoniaEthiopiaFalkland Islands (Malvinas)Faroe IslandsFijiFinlandFranceFrench GuianaFrench PolynesiaFrench Southern TerritoriesGabonGambiaGeorgiaGermanyGhanaGibraltarGreeceGreenlandGrenadaGuadeloupeGuamGuatemalaGuineaGuinea-BissauGuyanaHaitiHoly See (Vatican City State)HondurasHong KongHungaryIcelandIndiaIndonesiaIranIraqIrelandIsraelItalyJamaicaJapanJordanKazakhstanKenyaKiribatiSouth KoreaKosovoKuwaitKyrgyzstanLaosLatviaLebanonLesothoLiberiaLiechtensteinLithuaniaLuxembourgMacauMacedoniaMadagascarMalawiMalaysiaMaldivesMaliMaltaMarshall IslandsMartiniqueMauritaniaMauritiusMayotteMexicoMicronesiaMoldova, Republic ofMonacoMongoliaMontenegroMontserratMoroccoMozambiqueMyanmarNamibiaNauruNepalNetherlandsNetherlands AntillesNew CaledoniaNew ZealandNicaraguaNigerNigeriaNiueNorfolk IslandNorthern Mariana IslandsNorwayOmanPakistanPalauPanamaPapua New GuineaParaguayPeruPhilippinesPitcairn IslandPolandPortugalPuerto RicoQatarReunionRomaniaRussian FederationRwandaSaint Kitts and NevisSaint LuciaSaint Vincent and the GrenadinesSamoaSan MarinoSao Tome and PrincipeSaudi ArabiaSenegalSerbiaSeychellesSierra LeoneSingaporeSlovakiaSloveniaSolomon IslandsSomaliaSouth AfricaSpainSri LankaSt. HelenaSt. Pierre and MiquelonSudanSurinameSwazilandSwedenSwitzerlandSyriaTaiwanTajikistanTanzaniaThailandTogoTokelauTongaTrinidad and TobagoTunisiaTurkeyTurkmenistanTurks and Caicos IslandsTuvaluUgandaUkraineUnited Arab EmiratesUnited KingdomUnited StatesUruguayUzbekistanVanuatuVenezuelaViet NamVirgin Islands (U.S.)Wallis and Futuna IslandsWestern SaharaYemenZambiaZimbabwe I urge you to vote no on ACTA and to communicate its severe problems to your colleagues. ACTA's vague language locks us into obsolete copyright and patent laws, preventing democracies from updating their laws to unlock new economic and social opportunities.It criminalizes harmless remixes by ordinary users if they achieve 'a commercial scale' (art 2.14.1) which many amateur videos do on sites like Youtube. And it criminalizes legitimate websites by making them responsible for user behavior ('aiding and abetting' art 2.14.4).Worse, it permanently bypasses the democratic process by empowering the 'ACTA Committee' to 'propose amendments to [ACTA]' without your approval. (art 6.4) In other words, it's impossible to know what you're voting for.The global movement against the US law SOPA showed that internet freedom is a crucial issue which belongs in the legislative process of each country. You should view ACTA as an attempt by a handful of companies to circumvent the democratic process, and you should vote against it.Thank you. Please reply if you have any questions.

For European users, this form will email every MEP with a known email address.
Fight For The Future may contact you about future campaigns. We will never share your email with anyone. Privacy Policy

Most Inspirational Photo of 2011

The above is a photo credited to Patrick Baz/AFP/? taken during the Egyptian Arab Spring protests. These men, on the floor of a dimly lit, grimy room with their laptops and phones connected to overburdened power strips were responsible for the organization of the masses of people who came out to oust the unfair regime that had ruled them for years.

As a blogger, I stand in absolute support against efforts by any government for measures to control the freedom of expression on the internet. If the Arab Spring, Anna Hazare and Occupy protests have proved anything, they have proved the power - once again - that a united people can represent against a dynastic and fractious government. No government or and most importantly, a government that declares that they are democratic and free, should undertake measures that stifle their people's freedom of expression.

All of the above being said, I also realize the raw power of the internet and the very expression of freedom that a government must protect, to make it easier for the facilitation of messages of violence, injustice, hatred and bigotry. [Look at user comments on YouTube videos of any Justin Bieber song to see what I mean.] In all seriousness, I guess what I am trying to say is that it's important not to muzzle the power Information Technology provides us to connect with each other in new ways [My Telemedicine job - will blog about it later - has had a significant impact on my views on IT]. But at the same time, we still live in an unremorseful world and just because it has become easier to connect with one another, humans have not changed. We're still as capable of committing unspeakably horrible crimes on one another and the ideal of world of peace remains utopian in it's reach. The internet and IT only increases the ease with which we have the ability to access information that helps us make our decisions. It still isn't the arbiter of right and wrong. That's down to us, and that's part of the beauty of a thinking human mind.

I think that the aim of IT is education, awareness and openness - three ideals that really do have the power to change the world. And if when considering how to 'regulate' the internet and other new technologies, governments and vindictive Indian journalists keeps the above in mind, it will provide a much clearer and easier path for its' people to the future.

IT gives us innumerable chances to make decisions every day with respect to what we choose to know and see about the world around us and how we want to participate in global dialogue. Narrow mindedness is no longer an option that can sustain itself without coming against a wall of changed mindset. Which is why it is important, more so than ever, for the equitable distribution of IT and the education of people in it's ways.

I hope, that in the future - everyone can get reliable, responsible and accurate information at the click of a button. And I hope that it empowers them to think for themselves. Leading to whatever it may.

Perhaps even for lawyer in saucepan battlegear - if he's fighting for the right things.

Adulthood

Oh the Wonder.

http://www.regretsy.com/2012/01/28/weekend-flashback-das-poop/

I'm sort of a DIY disaster in the making. Check back to this earlier post for proof. Or even this one.

Inspired by these little monsters I found online, I decided to try my hand at sewing a little stuffed ugly yet incredibly endearing creature.

Several hours, strained eyes, lots of lost seed beads and a significant blow to my hopes of a future Etsy store and fortune later, I came up with Maximillian Robespierre! The thing I created in the post, 'Horrible Little Guy.' No, the irony that the little stuffed creature of horror named after one of the most vicious lieutenants of the French Revolution is wearing a bow tie, isn't lost on me.

Today, I use him (or his backside, which is an ugly brown-turqoise print) as an eraser for my dry erase board.

This is why some people should just stick to careers.

Thank God I didn't get that sewing machine.

Though it's only a matter of time. Muahahaha.

Oh yes - and if you know what etsy.com is, please go to the above, brilliant link :)

******

Edit: People who may or may not read my blog. Pleaaase comment! I sort of feel like my blog is like my attempts at arts & crafts. A lot of enthusiasm from my side when I'm sort of blind to the disaster that it truly is. Even if it's just to say, I am here. You don't even have to identify yourself. I think the 1,091 hits are just from bots, my sister and the friends I force to read my blog.