One line a day.
Today - exhausting. Went to an impromptu meeting with physicians in another department. Felt young, small, inexperienced and incapable. These things are not true. But the feeling cuts deep. I'm behind on work again. Makes me feel incapable, then helpless, then angry.
How to be better? How to be better? Rings through my head, beats through me. And I try to steady myself - there's nothing wrong. Stay the course. Breathe deep and keep going.
Today, the steady hand is wavering. I want to quit and give in to the everpresent doubts about the impossibility of my dreams. I do not want to try. I need to feel small and young and incapable. I'm embarrassed.
But I know I can't....
That's all I have today.
Goodnight.
