sometimes, waking up in the morning, there are so many things to do and no certain outcome. And the only thing that is definite is that as long as my eyes are shut, they don't exist.
it is terrifying to chase one's dream. not in a romantic, bohemian, wildly exciting, adrenaline rushing kind of a way (although occasionally, those moments do happen), but in a let-me-keep-my-eyes-as-tightly-shut-as-i-can-for-as-long-as-possible, kind of way. because eyes closed, the world stays as it is, but open them and who knows what you will see.
i don't think people realize the exacting effort that goes into performing well. it's not just the sitting down to work hard and learn new things, but the fact that to wake up every morning and go through the day with an easy smile and effortless laugh, genial comments and an interested mind, takes discipline! emotional discipline. you can't let things get you down. and that, while in effect produces an optimistic, go-getter of a being, sometimes you want nothing more than to let the ball drop wherever the hell it will. You don't want to keep on doing things to move forward.
if i were terribly cynical (i definitely have my moments) i'd say that every high performer, all those people with the crazy drive, is driving away from something incredibly sad that is threatening to engulf him. that at the base of it all is fear.
i don't think that is true.
i've been here, in the states for about 2 months now. Who would have thought that 8 years away would change me so much. Well, most people i guess. But i always make the assumption that the environment can't touch me. that nothing can.....
it is terrifying to chase one's dream. not in a romantic, bohemian, wildly exciting, adrenaline rushing kind of a way (although occasionally, those moments do happen), but in a let-me-keep-my-eyes-as-tightly-shut-as-i-can-for-as-long-as-possible, kind of way. because eyes closed, the world stays as it is, but open them and who knows what you will see.
i don't think people realize the exacting effort that goes into performing well. it's not just the sitting down to work hard and learn new things, but the fact that to wake up every morning and go through the day with an easy smile and effortless laugh, genial comments and an interested mind, takes discipline! emotional discipline. you can't let things get you down. and that, while in effect produces an optimistic, go-getter of a being, sometimes you want nothing more than to let the ball drop wherever the hell it will. You don't want to keep on doing things to move forward.
if i were terribly cynical (i definitely have my moments) i'd say that every high performer, all those people with the crazy drive, is driving away from something incredibly sad that is threatening to engulf him. that at the base of it all is fear.
i don't think that is true.
i've been here, in the states for about 2 months now. Who would have thought that 8 years away would change me so much. Well, most people i guess. But i always make the assumption that the environment can't touch me. that nothing can.....
