Tonight's much talked about presidential debate should prove to be at the very least, entertaining. I'm looking forward to hearing the candidates face off on the issues and to seeing whether the moderators of this debate can raise difficult questions and get the candidates to talk about the issues.
I don't know if there is anywhere else where I feel so alive and free. It's really, technically, no different from any other large city. Overwhelming, enveloping, pulsating, alive - and entirely man made.
I think that's what is most magnificent - appealing to the gut egomaniac in me - that men and women - just like you and me - through the centuries (only 3 centuries) created this island city. It's a place that is so integrally human - where the human story seems to be the only story. What we can do with our minds, our hearts, our wills - the spectrum of what is possible, in one city. (I know this isn't true. But somehow, this place evokes such grandiose thoughts). And somehow, though every tower of possibility, is guarded jealously by an innocuously well dressed receptionist - there is an illusion of dreams within reach.
I know this is all part of the hook, the thing that draws you in and leaves you, at some point - wondering what happened. How your pursuit of happiness got drowned in the humdrum and petty. And though that happens everywhere, in this city, that betrayal is magnified by the majesty of the towers that surround you - the suits - the constant motion. While your life, maybe, just stands still. People don't change because of a city - but here, everything feels sharper, leaner, meaner. Coming down to the bottom line - what is your value - what can you contribute, barter that will let you into the mad rush forward - or to a reservation at a more exclusive restaurant and an apartment with more breathing space. A man can easily live out the commands of his ego in this one city. From the street to the penthouse in a half a lifetime. That vertical climb. Seemingly up into the heavens - but really, part of the beautiful, man-made illusion that is New York City. After all, we're all trying to be E Pluribus Unum, no? Who says that magic isn't real? That men are not masters of mystery and illusion.
And yet, though there is obvious fallacy in this city - it is also so palpable and real. It breathes - all around you. And runs - in all it's beautiful ugliness. There's a subway system to transport those millions of dreamers from all over the world. A sewage system to carry their excrement to the sea - or wherever. Dark alleyways for bad things to happen. Rooftops for friendly gatherings. It's all laid out in front of you. And though, your experience at the end of the day, will be limited - just the fact that it's all there, in easy reach - but you can be as insulated as you want.....is enthralling. (And perhaps New Yorkers - with the taste of world's experience at their fingertips, are the most insulated of all humanity).
I know this is a rather ridiculous post - all larger than life, starry eyed and in love with something of dubious value and possibility. But it's a feeling of the moment. My current tangent :)
Which brings me to the picture at the top of the post.
I went to see Dark Knight with my sister today. And yes, we saw it in Queens - but seeing Manhattan getting blown to pieces like that, the bridges just falling away, the city being destroyed and then with a theater full of New Yorkers holding their breaths - in absolute silence - then climbing up to the 18th floor just to see Manhattan rising majestically, reassuring in the sunset - what a moment.
Moreover, looking toward the setting sun and the horizon, looking over Queens towards the real life Gotham City - the greatest tower rising above the city - none other than the new WTC. Rebuilding from real life destruction and evil.
I don't know what it is about this place. Perhaps I'm under the combined spell of Christopher Nolan and New York, but I'm infatuated. Deeply.
I am currently taking Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel of the University of Pennsylvania's course, Health Policy and the Affordable Care Act at coursera.org.
It's a pretty simple and well put together course (from Week 1, at least!) and most importantly - promotes independent learning through readings he provides with enough structure to spur critical thinking on these subjects. Once again, I wonder to myself, what I missed by not going to college in the United States.
The following is my response to his questions for the Week 1 homework assignment. I must say, what an excellent way to get you to think and use the data from this weeks readings. I never realized how much you can learn by just asking the right questions. Go Socratic Method!!
I really want to write a post on the SCOTUS ruling and my analysis of it, as well as a post about a Bharka Dutt 'We the People' debate on the proposed Exit Bond for J1 Visa seekers to the US, but I'm too tired! And hungry. Blah Blah.
In other news, I established today that I am an unabashed geek. I doubt that any of you had any doubt about that, but I fight it at times. Today, I embrace it. *Solemn look of resolve*
I love this class and my non-job profession even though it's causing me to age pre-maturely and be chronically single etc.
Here's the assignment.
Describe the typical uninsured American in terms of age, employment status, socioeconomic status, race, health status, and duration of uninsurance. Public discourse often represents health care reform as being about giving access to the poor. Is this accurate?
The typical uninsured American is a nonelderly adult. About 80% of the uninsured are adults, while only 19-20% are children. While the uninsured are distributed across all age groups, the largest group of uninsured Americans (32%) are young adults between the ages of 19-29. Many young adults are from families with at least one working person. However, because of low salaries, access to insurance is limited. Adults in the age group of 35-54 also make up an equally significant part of the uninsured (33% - Fig 4). Importantly, the typical uninsured American is of working age.
The typical uninsured American is part of a working family and has no education beyond high school. Specifically, although 77% of uninsured Americans belong to a working family (with 66% having a full time worker and 16%, a part time worker), 63 of 100 uninsured have no education beyond high school. This is significant because with rising costs of employee sponsored insurance ($13,770/year with workers now paying upto 30% of premiums), employers cover only 57% of their workers. Therefore, it is becoming essential that people are not only employed, but also competitive; with a higher degree of education.
The typical uninsured American is comes from a low to middle income family. This means that 9 out 10 uninsured persons have a family income of less than 400% of the federal poverty line. In fact, 40% of the uninsured are below poverty line and an additional 38% are between 100-250% of the poverty line. Further, 36% of those below FPL are uninsured, compared with 27% of 100-250% FPL, 13% of 250-399% FPL and 5% of those 400+ FPL. This is a clear indicator of the correlation between lower income and uninsurance levels.
The typical uninsured American is a minority race - meaning, a non-white American. Non-Hispanic White Americans, while the racial majority, have a 14% uninsured rate. Compare this to an uninsurance rate of 34% in Hispanics, 28% in American Indians, 23% in Black Americans and 18% in Asians. (Only 12% of multiracials are uninsured). This may be confounded by the fact that racial minorities have also have a lower income rate than white Americans.
The typical uninsured American has been without insurance for more than 1 year and is in worse health than the privately insured American. About half of the uninsured non-elderly have a chronic health problem and two times as many uninsured report being in poor-fair health as compared to the privately insured. Further, most uninsured persons (51%) have been without insurance for 3 years or more. The majority (72%) have had no insurance for over a year. Interestingly, in a 2009 study, 17% of the uninsured have had no insurance for less than 6 months.
Higher rates of uninsurance are related to lower income levels. Further, though 40% of the uninsured are below the poverty line, the remaining 60% of the uninsured remain above the poverty line and 77% of the uninsured belong to a working family.
Health care reform is not solely about giving access to the poor, regardless of the tenor of public discourse. In fact, the higher rates of uninsurance amongst the poor are a symptom of larger problems in our health care industry and economy, namely, increasing costs, unfair insurance regulations and a weaker economy.
sometimes, waking up in the morning, there are so many things to do and no certain outcome. And the only thing that is definite is that as long as my eyes are shut, they don't exist.
it is terrifying to chase one's dream. not in a romantic, bohemian, wildly exciting, adrenaline rushing kind of a way (although occasionally, those moments do happen), but in a let-me-keep-my-eyes-as-tightly-shut-as-i-can-for-as-long-as-possible, kind of way. because eyes closed, the world stays as it is, but open them and who knows what you will see.
i don't think people realize the exacting effort that goes into performing well. it's not just the sitting down to work hard and learn new things, but the fact that to wake up every morning and go through the day with an easy smile and effortless laugh, genial comments and an interested mind, takes discipline! emotional discipline. you can't let things get you down. and that, while in effect produces an optimistic, go-getter of a being, sometimes you want nothing more than to let the ball drop wherever the hell it will. You don't want to keep on doing things to move forward.
if i were terribly cynical (i definitely have my moments) i'd say that every high performer, all those people with the crazy drive, is driving away from something incredibly sad that is threatening to engulf him. that at the base of it all is fear.
i don't think that is true.
i've been here, in the states for about 2 months now. Who would have thought that 8 years away would change me so much. Well, most people i guess. But i always make the assumption that the environment can't touch me. that nothing can.....
Today was the kind of day I dreamed of having back in good old Porur. Filled with new experiences, good food, subway rides, spring weather and awesome people.
I am way too tired to chronicle Week 1 in NYC - the place I've always wanted to live, but here are links to a few of the wonderful and bizarre things that I saw.
Have so many things I want to say and write about. But these days, my body tires out a lot faster than my mind. I think it's all the walking. And the only thing I can manage to do right now is wonder....maybe it really is possible to be completely happy. I am where I have wanted to be for 13 years. Finally. How miraculous, to get what you have always wanted - even if it is temporary.
I shall sleep in hopes that I will come up with a Suketu Mehta -esque thing of beauty to post on my blog.
Maybe I should start being pretentious and by a moleskin notebook for subway epiphanies...
The above is a photo credited to Patrick Baz/AFP/? taken during the Egyptian Arab Spring protests. These men, on the floor of a dimly lit, grimy room with their laptops and phones connected to overburdened power strips were responsible for the organization of the masses of people who came out to oust the unfair regime that had ruled them for years.
As a blogger, I stand in absolute support against efforts by any government for measures to control the freedom of expression on the internet. If the Arab Spring, Anna Hazare and Occupy protests have proved anything, they have proved the power - once again - that a united people can represent against a dynastic and fractious government. No government or and most importantly, a government that declares that they are democratic and free, should undertake measures that stifle their people's freedom of expression.
All of the above being said, I also realize the raw power of the internet and the very expression of freedom that a government must protect, to make it easier for the facilitation of messages of violence, injustice, hatred and bigotry. [Look at user comments on YouTube videos of any Justin Bieber song to see what I mean.] In all seriousness, I guess what I am trying to say is that it's important not to muzzle the power Information Technology provides us to connect with each other in new ways [My Telemedicine job - will blog about it later - has had a significant impact on my views on IT]. But at the same time, we still live in an unremorseful world and just because it has become easier to connect with one another, humans have not changed. We're still as capable of committing unspeakably horrible crimes on one another and the ideal of world of peace remains utopian in it's reach. The internet and IT only increases the ease with which we have the ability to access information that helps us make our decisions. It still isn't the arbiter of right and wrong. That's down to us, and that's part of the beauty of a thinking human mind.
I think that the aim of IT is education, awareness and openness - three ideals that really do have the power to change the world. And if when considering how to 'regulate' the internet and other new technologies, governments and vindictive Indian journalists keeps the above in mind, it will provide a much clearer and easier path for its' people to the future.
IT gives us innumerable chances to make decisions every day with respect to what we choose to know and see about the world around us and how we want to participate in global dialogue. Narrow mindedness is no longer an option that can sustain itself without coming against a wall of changed mindset. Which is why it is important, more so than ever, for the equitable distribution of IT and the education of people in it's ways.
I hope, that in the future - everyone can get reliable, responsible and accurate information at the click of a button. And I hope that it empowers them to think for themselves. Leading to whatever it may.
Perhaps even for lawyer in saucepan battlegear - if he's fighting for the right things.
Inspired by these little monsters I found online, I decided to try my hand at sewing a little stuffed ugly yet incredibly endearing creature.
Several hours, strained eyes, lots of lost seed beads and a significant blow to my hopes of a future Etsy store and fortune later, I came up with Maximillian Robespierre! The thing I created in the post, 'Horrible Little Guy.' No, the irony that the little stuffed creature of horror named after one of the most vicious lieutenants of the French Revolution is wearing a bow tie, isn't lost on me.
Today, I use him (or his backside, which is an ugly brown-turqoise print) as an eraser for my dry erase board.
This is why some people should just stick to careers.
Thank God I didn't get that sewing machine.
Though it's only a matter of time. Muahahaha.
Oh yes - and if you know what etsy.com is, please go to the above, brilliant link :)
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Edit: People who may or may not read my blog. Pleaaase comment! I sort of feel like my blog is like my attempts at arts & crafts. A lot of enthusiasm from my side when I'm sort of blind to the disaster that it truly is. Even if it's just to say, I am here. You don't even have to identify yourself. I think the 1,091 hits are just from bots, my sister and the friends I force to read my blog.
I kind of wish I could go back to the pace of life that involved the beach, friends and no constant thoughts about what my next step is and how to get to where I need to be.
I want barbecues, long summer nights and no sense of urgency.
Everything else feels like a race to get back to that place when really, it's taking me far far away.
I'm beginning to think, more and more, that the ability to keep driving steadily or towards your goal on shifting sands is the true mark of strength and ability.
The reality of today is that there are over seven billion of us on this small planet. It's getting more crowded as we speak, world's are intersecting and finding your own little hermetically sealed biosphere is becoming, frankly, unrealistic.
Of course, I am talking from the background of my own privileged and rather chaotic upbringing, so perhaps take what I say with a pinch of salt.
In the future, I really think that we are going to have to learn the art of symbiosis. Of syzygy. Because without that, without some complexity in our understanding of ourselves in relation to the world that surrounds us, we are ultimately, unsuccessful human beings.
If that sounds too esoteric for you, take the oil crisis. If nothing else is evidence of the growing interdependence of nations, I don't know what is. Oh well also, the Eurozone crisis and worldwide economic slowdown that was triggered by a subprime mortgage loan crisis in the United states. The Arab spring protests that have spread across the Middle East. Kolaveri Di. When a butterfly flaps it's wings in Mexico, there's a hurricane in NY. Chaos theory anyone?
It fascinates me, the way that so many world's intersect. And how, in a happy human being, they find harmony. "But what is happiness but the simple harmony between a man and his life?" said Camus. I spent this morning arguing politics with friends in LA and Chennai. I came out of my room to find my grandmother. I can't explain it, but switching gears like that sometimes comes like a splash of cold water on your face until you accept that all of it, is part of one. Who you are, your life experience and the world that you live in.
We're so taught to believe in the pre-packaged life and labeled ideals that very few of us ever strive to embrace the unique person we truly are. I never have. We [or perhaps I should say I was] are told that to be a good person, is the ultimate goal. But then, we're told that certain choices will devalue the "culture and traditions" we come from and the implication - we will no longer be good. We are told that other choices are "unpatriotic" and if we make them - we will no longer be good. That in order to be good, there is only one way. Doesn't that send the message that if you live any other way, you are either a shade of gray, or worse, total evil? That type of morality - the you vs. us type. The type that relies on static definitions to tailor actions to be part of a society, is not the type that I can live with anymore.
I'm sure most people come to this realization much earlier than twenty four, or much later. It seems like odd timing to be thinking of the above.
I live amongst many social structures, many societies and many values and a world that is constantly changing. What morality do I choose that allows me to respect people around me, in all their plurality, as human beings? What morality allows for the breadth of differences that make us who we are? I haven't found it in the the traditions of my childhood. I haven't found it in the strict practice of culture or religion. Which has led me to believe that perhaps my morality should stem from the fact that we are all humans and therefore, deserving of respect. Maybe I need to reverse things and make the intended effect, the source of the rules. It's not a new idea, at all, but one in which I am finally beginning to see power and dynamism. I'm tired of an ethos ruled by fear of what happens if I don't follow it. I want the moral imperative to question the world around me and explore the what ifs and if nots, not be told what will happen, what should happen and how I should live my life.
Again, I'm pretty sure most people discover some form of the above in their rebellious teenage years.
The truth is, that it's incredibly difficult to live by the above morality. It's incredibly difficult not to sink into a way of thought and nest about - because in times of fear and doubt, well we're all human and in our differences there is unity, doesn't really serve too well for comfort.
I don't have the answer yet for what I do when I feel scared or uncomfortable. I know you are supposed to show strength and deal with it, but it is so difficult, and I am so used to cushions from the truth of what I want this world to be and the place that I want in it that I fall back into old ways.
Consistency isn't something human, I suppose? Errare humanum est?
Anyway, just writing random things, hopefully someday this evolves into a real post. Right now, they're just fleeting, stray thoughts about the nature of things.
My favorite part of Istanbul was taking a late afternoon ferry to Buyukada, one of the Prince's Islands. The ride back, we sat on the floor of the top deck of the ferry and looked out onto a beautiful sunset, the Bosphorous and listened to Bon Iver.
You can't have an Istanbul album without a mention of the Grand Bazaar. It's far from off the beaten trail, but the Grand Bazaar has it's own charm. Besides the fact that there are beautiful photo opportunities.
For some time now, I have been trying to paint a picture of my relationship with spirituality and religion. My Facebook information on religion reads - "Hindu/Haven't Figured It Out" and that has been the status quo for sometime now.
I was raised with the mythology and ritual of my traditional Hindu grandparents. In fact, my first language was Telugu - as spoken by the Pandavas and Kauravas of the ancient Indian epic, The Mahabharata, which at the time, had been televised as a hugely popular sitcom. At the age of 3, much to the amusement of my family, I would narrate in great detail the entire Mahabharata including all those long, complicated names that I can no longer make head or tail of. I sat down to all the requisite poojas, loved prasadam, enjoyed wearing the colorful pattu langas that accompanied any religious festivity and of course, the sense of peace and beauty of the small household altars decorated with incense, fresh flowers, tiny sugar cubes and rows of ants marching to and fro, perhaps also making their worship.
I went to a Montessori school in a church for the first three years of my formal schooling. There were 18 of us from K-5 grade with 3 teachers of rather liberal sentiment concerning spirituality(Tarsilla, Cheryl and Stephen's mom, lol) and who imparted to all their students an overwhelming sense of joy and wonder about the world that surrounded them. We sang the head teacher's favorite Christmas Carol every year, learnt science by hiking through local nature trails and observing tadpoles, birds, skunk cabbage and getting stuck in the mud. We celebrated Valentine's day by playing 'Hug, Hug, Kiss' (instead of Duck, Duck, Goose - which we played through the winter in the Church graveyard), celebrated Japanese New Year by eating rice and fish with our hands, put on a yearly Thanksgiving play, dyed Easter eggs at Easter, made home-made Pumpkin ice-cream in the Church kitchen at Hallowen, learnt about Bees and honey by tasting about 10 different types of honey from different flowers in the Springtime and ran a minor "coal mining" operation in the church backyard. There were never any overt religious dialogue or preaching, but looking back, this period feels like the most deeply religious of my life.
Religion was a part of my life in beautiful ways as a child. Since I was fortunate enough to have a magical childhood where I never really needed to pray to God for anything because I had everything - there was never even any room for disillusionment. Religion has always been a deep part of me, not for spiritual or mystical reasons, but for the simple idea that it has such positive and comforting associations.
That being said, the past few years of this so called 'adulthood' have made me realize that I absolutely do no believe in the existence of a particular entity called God. I believe in the Divine and the beautiful and the kind, whatever that is and wherever or however it is centered. I do believe that there is something greater than me and every other individual on this planet. I catch bits of that feeling when I listen to great music, read about a particular interesting aspect of physiology, stand outside in the sunshine or look at a little baby smiling. But to attribute the beauty of all of those things to the greatness of 'God' seems a little simplistic and frankly, a little insulting. Not insulting - I can't find the word - but somehow it seems to detract from the beauty of those objects.
When people ask me what religion I follow I have been apt to say Hindu, because Hinduism in it's purest form allows for freedom of interpretation with respect to the exact definition of God. I have not really pushed to define myself religiously. Because I consider some of Atheistic argument just as reactionary and pointless as hardline religious people. I have always felt, but never ever really expressed, that a synthesis of the two and personal freedom somehow allied to a sense of community would be the strongest scaffolding on which to build my life. However, I've never really found such a philosophy articulated well. As the above video describes, I've always felt rather squeamish about the doctrine that surrounds the ritualism that I sometimes find comforting and the seeming harshness in using absolute rationality as a guide to my life.
Atheism 2.0 as explained in the video above is the best expression of many of the things I feel personally. It is almost an anthropological approach to the construction of a scaffolding from which to reach new heights of personal growth and development.
Perhaps it's a result of growing up in plenty, but I like when I'm told that I don't have to compromise, that I can have the best of both worlds - because there are so many, and they're never 'hermetically sealed'.
Patrick French's 'India' is the only non-fiction book on India that I have ever finished.
I've tried reading John Keay's 'India: A History', Mark Tully's 'No Full Stops in India' and even some Dalrymple, but have never been able to get beyond the first half.
Perhaps, poised as I am to leave this country in a few short months, Patrick French's book was extremely topical.
All that aside, I truly loved this book. Patrick French's point of view on India is that of an outsider who has spent years getting to know and love this country. He is on the inside enough to understand the multitude of cultural idiosyncrasies that almost define this country without being entrenched and unable to see the humor and absurdity of life in India. Although he is Britisher, he does not approach his writing with nationalistic loyalties, but a curious observer of a nation of curiosities.
This approach, I feel, is what makes 'India: An Intimate Biography of 1.2 Billion People' - the contradiction in the title resonates as a theme through the entire book - a page turner. I literally, could not put the book down and found myself reading about the economic history and development of India while I brushed my teeth.
I have not read much non-fiction, so I suppose I'm not qualified to really pass judgement on Patrick French's skill as a writer, but I think that this man has the quiet brilliance (of HTC - haha, just kidding) that is the mark of a great mind. He has the ability to discuss the technicalities of economics and politics without becoming too pedantic and always keeping in mind the contextual, human story that drives political and economic change. I believe that his understanding of society, that it is nothing more than a collection of human beings bound together, loosely, by random historical, cultural and economic events, really frames the way he understands India. And he never, just as he discusses later in the book, falls prey to the Western impulse of categorizing and defining India by rules that have no meaning in it's context.
Patrick French's 'India', is a balanced and ultimately optimistic account of a country's modern history that places you in a much better position to understand the India. As an introduction to non-fiction literature on this country, I would say this book is pretty much perfect. It is a page turner, contains enough anecdotes that are entirely relatable and is sufficiently factual and technical to feed your intellect. For more advanced readers, it may not be a sophisticated or analytical enough account, but for me, it was just perfect. Finishing the book felt as heartbreaking as it will to leave the country two months from now.
