Bred and trained, perhaps, in defense of the common good (which is neither common, nor very good), THEY turn what should just be ordinary fear into wringing doubt.
And the thing about doubt is that it grows, builds and feeds on itself until, one day, it turns feral. It becomes an animal that acts out of a strange volition, separate from your own, but overarching and dangerously imperious. Directed by THEM, estranged from yourself, fear and doubt can drive you into situations you wonder how you could ever have gotten into. Its a sort of quickly enveloping net.
The easy solution, would be to destroy the THEY and cling to that which is its say, nemesis. As Yin is to Yang, THEY answer to you. And the ever besieged soldier of sense of 'you', our integrity.
From 'V from Vendetta'
"Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it
is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never let THEM take it away from us"
"But I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it
is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch, we are free."
But of course, the disadvantage of the above is that not only are you constantly at battle, but you are also living, within a very small inch.
As much as believing in yourself, your ideals, your principles gives you a backbone, clinging to yourself, your ideals and your principles weakens your ability to see the world around you, which is as real as yourself.
THEM exists because its a reflection of the things that surround you.
Amartya Sen once said, in Identity and Violence,
"Our freedom to assert our personal identity can sometimes be extraordinarily limited in the eyes of others, no matter how we see ourselves."
This is an important point, because since integrity is dependent on the 'assertion of personal identity', which is more often than not 'limited in the eyes of others,' our sense of self finally does derive, to an extent, from others, and rightly so. Its the reality of the social human.
No matter how much you crave integrity - true integrity, true sainthood, is inhuman.
How much can you battle without losing sight of reality? And really, what would you be fighting for?
So, I suppose, if true peace and happiness exists between the insidious THEM and the stalwart YOU, it isn't quite a pursuit or a fight as much as a discovery.
I've known this all along, and there are 3 friends who've been around since the beginning of med school who've helped me to know this - and who embody this.
Where does peace and truth exist for me?
In the company of people I love.
In the pursuit of knowledge I harness.
In the presence of music I worship.
and
In the consumption of really good food.
:)
.Out.
