Really I'm not psycho - just bored. :-)
23.5.07
Why Doctors are so $$$$$ Obsessed - A Justification
So back in the day when I was a young innocent child untroubled by the realities of life and unbuffeted by the winds of maddening stress I for some reason that will remain one of those sweet mysteries of life decided to become a doctor.
I vaguely recall that it might have had something to do with my love of physiology and my love of people and combine the two and bibatee bobatee boo there you have the shining knight of the modern day - the doctor. Plus there was the fact that I had my whole world..i.e. my parents - behind me saying - go apta we completely support your decision. (its so typical of what has been expected of you since you were a kid. your not throwing any surprises at us thank god. thank god this obstacle is over. for a moment there when you were five your insane obsession with barbies led us to think you'd be a hairdresser. this is an affirmation of our skill as parents. wOot!)
So now I'm well along the chosen path approaching the D-month of December where I will either crash and burn in pages and pages of mystifying and hitherto untouched pathology pharmacology microbiology and dreaded Forensic medicine or come sailing through as i've always done - damn i forgot what this sentence was supposed to be about.
OK Take 2 - essentially heres the deal. You come into med school especially if your not a doc brat like an innocent wide eyed guileless FREAK - expecting soo much from life. all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Halfway through first year you lose yourself in the oceans of slightly less than but definitely toxic formalin of the dissection hall and lose all sense of life other than exams exams exams. Then you come to second year and SHIT etc. - it hits you - you're going to be a DOCTOR - like the ones that you finally meet in the hospital. CRAP - what were you thinking. you have so much to learn and so little time. you must devote yourself to your chosen profession and work work work.
But then comes along that other distracting thing called the rest of world. You see 17 year Jordin Sparks having the time of her life and living out her dream on American Idol. AAAALLL your friends are taking semesters abroad and talk endlessly about their time in france, greece, italy, china etc. Facebook the ultimate evil - is a window into the lives of those chosen few. College! Why didn't i do that again??? The thought reverberates through your mind once its gotten hold and refuses to let go. whyyyyyyy????? Creative ideas course through your head especially on the eve of that big Hemat exam - but must all be suppressed. It takes a GREAT strength of mind that i doubt i have to balance medical school with other things. and a TREMENDOUS strength of mind to put on the blinders and jump into the see of textbooks with open arms. But it takes no strength of mind to want everything and do nothing. Go Figure.. Thats where i am.
And when you come out of this state of mind - you see whats left years and years of isolation and work. And then....yea okay essentially. Life = mini Shakespearean Tragedy - 5 acts or not i know not.
And for all this mental and emotional scarring suffering that we go through but eventually do come out of successful and knowing a lot though retarded in many ways - society should reward us with the one supposed ambrosia - thats right - $$$$$$$.
I don't know where I'm headed.....
I vaguely recall that it might have had something to do with my love of physiology and my love of people and combine the two and bibatee bobatee boo there you have the shining knight of the modern day - the doctor. Plus there was the fact that I had my whole world..i.e. my parents - behind me saying - go apta we completely support your decision. (its so typical of what has been expected of you since you were a kid. your not throwing any surprises at us thank god. thank god this obstacle is over. for a moment there when you were five your insane obsession with barbies led us to think you'd be a hairdresser. this is an affirmation of our skill as parents. wOot!)
So now I'm well along the chosen path approaching the D-month of December where I will either crash and burn in pages and pages of mystifying and hitherto untouched pathology pharmacology microbiology and dreaded Forensic medicine or come sailing through as i've always done - damn i forgot what this sentence was supposed to be about.
OK Take 2 - essentially heres the deal. You come into med school especially if your not a doc brat like an innocent wide eyed guileless FREAK - expecting soo much from life. all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Halfway through first year you lose yourself in the oceans of slightly less than but definitely toxic formalin of the dissection hall and lose all sense of life other than exams exams exams. Then you come to second year and SHIT etc. - it hits you - you're going to be a DOCTOR - like the ones that you finally meet in the hospital. CRAP - what were you thinking. you have so much to learn and so little time. you must devote yourself to your chosen profession and work work work.
But then comes along that other distracting thing called the rest of world. You see 17 year Jordin Sparks having the time of her life and living out her dream on American Idol. AAAALLL your friends are taking semesters abroad and talk endlessly about their time in france, greece, italy, china etc. Facebook the ultimate evil - is a window into the lives of those chosen few. College! Why didn't i do that again??? The thought reverberates through your mind once its gotten hold and refuses to let go. whyyyyyyy????? Creative ideas course through your head especially on the eve of that big Hemat exam - but must all be suppressed. It takes a GREAT strength of mind that i doubt i have to balance medical school with other things. and a TREMENDOUS strength of mind to put on the blinders and jump into the see of textbooks with open arms. But it takes no strength of mind to want everything and do nothing. Go Figure.. Thats where i am.
And when you come out of this state of mind - you see whats left years and years of isolation and work. And then....yea okay essentially. Life = mini Shakespearean Tragedy - 5 acts or not i know not.
And for all this mental and emotional scarring suffering that we go through but eventually do come out of successful and knowing a lot though retarded in many ways - society should reward us with the one supposed ambrosia - thats right - $$$$$$$.
I don't know where I'm headed.....
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